I won’t rupture my larynx shouting non-stop directions to my child from the sidelines. For one thing, they really can’t hear me. Secondly, since I am shouting, my kid can’t hear the coach. Thirdly, I won’t pretend to know more about the situation at that point than the coach does. I will keep in mind that most anything that I shout other than a cheer or words of encouragement will only embarrass my child and make those around me uncomfortable.
I’ll remember that this is not the 7th game of the NBA finals. This is a grade school game and by dinnertime few of the kids will even remember the score. Most kids will only want to know what’s for dinner – which is the way it should be.
I know this is true, but I will act like I know it is true. There’s probably no college scholarship on the line and a professional career is simply a dream. Period! Ninety nine percent of all kids involved in sports at the grade school level do not have the talent required to play sports in college and never will, regardless of how hard they practice. I will enjoy what they are capable of doing and what they enjoy doing.
I won’t dump my kid off 20 minutes late and then honk the horn when I pick them up 10 minutes early, as if the coach is some kind of nanny service. If my kid is going to miss a practice or game, I’ll call the day before. It doesn’t cost any more to be considerate.
I’ll remember who is really out there and that I am not playing the game. How my child performs in an athletic endeavor has nothing to do with my own self-esteem or my own childhood dreams. It is unfair for my child to feel and act as if their athletic performance is somehow a reflection on me.
Other people’s kids are still kids. Especially when children are young, I will remember that all the kids are trying to have some fun under difficult circumstances (namely being watched by a crowded gym of adults). The other team is not some collective “enemy”. They are not evil for playing hard and trying to win the game. They are just a bunch of other kids in different uniforms and I will treat them as I want my child to be treated by other adults.
I will not talk out of the side of my mouth about how much the coach stinks. I understand that the coaches are volunteers who give up a great deal of personal time trying to help my kid. They are not professionals and they will certainly make mistakes. If I don’t like the job they do, I’ll bite my tongue and volunteer my services next year.
We’re supposed to have fun too. If the “fun” for us depends on winning or how well our child performed, then we have to reexamine our whole attitude. At the end of the game, win or lose, both my child and I should have had a good time. If that’s not the case most of the time, then there is something seriously wrong.
I will respect the referees and umpires for giving their time to work the games. They do it because they love the sport and not because it “pays well”. I’ll remember that they are human too and that they are going to make mistakes from time to time. They are not conspiring with the opponent to steal the victory from us.
Every kid is his or her own kid. Some like sports, some don’t. Some are good at sports, some aren’t. Whether we liked sports or were good at sports when we were kids has no bearing on our kid’s relationship with sports. Every child is a unique gift from God. I will never define a child’s worth by their level of skill on the playing field.